A Self-Care Guide for Selfless Women

Hey Queens!

This week I am back with a topic that is near and dear to my heart because I do not practice enough of self-care. I literally will burn myself out trying to make other people happy. It’s the selfless quality in me, but it is becoming quite paralyzing. My therapist said that I give too much of myself to others, and have nothing left for me in return. She also said that having a big heart and serving others isn’t a bad thing, but it can’t be the ONLY thing I do. She’s completely right. I’m always on the go and I honestly think about myself last in almost every scenario. I don’t know how I got this way, but it’s becoming exhausting, and definitely lending to my depression.

Photo courtesy of Camp Fire

Photo courtesy of Camp Fire

The other day, I sat back and thought about the last time I slept in, and I couldn’t remember. That’s a problem. Even on the weekends, I’m always on the go and it’s becoming extremely taxing on my mind, body and spirit, so I’ve decided to change some things. I’ve come up with actions I would like to implement into my life to balance the amount of myself I give to others.

  1. Each pay period, treat myself to something- it could be something as simple as a cute blouse or an electric toothbrush (yes, I love electric toothbrushes LOL)

  2. Every 3 months schedule a massage- I started massages last week and they are a great way to relax and release stress. So every 3 months, I will be getting one.

  3. Spend time being silent/still- often times I do this when I’m in the car on the way to work or on the way to do something strenuous. I turn off the radio and sit in complete silence until I arrive to my destination. During this time, I can talk to God and even hear my inner thoughts and emotions.

  4. Acknowledge my thoughts, emotions/feelings- this seems like an easy one, but for me I overlook the way I feel way too much. I suppress my emotions and keep it moving. This is not healthy. So if I start feeling sad, overwhelmed, frustrated or even angry, I am starting to allow myself to acknowledge it and spend time working through it instead of sweeping it under the rug. If I have to cry, I’ll sit there and let it out until I feel better.

  5. Facial twice a year- I’ve always wanted to get a facial, but never made the effort to actually get one, but now I am making it my duty to treat myself twice a year along with my massages.

  6. Set aside an entire weekend or day once a month to devote entirely to me- Often times when I don’t have “plans,” I still end up doing something productive. It’s difficult for me to just sit still, but it is important that I do; especially now before I have a husband and children fighting for my attention. So for an entire day or weekend I will rest, catch up on my shows, soak in the tub, listen to music, light my candles, sip on some wine, put on a mask or exfoliate my skin and just relax and unwind. Even though I am tempted to do laundry, work on web series stuff or attend an event, I realize that making time for me is very important.

  7. Get moving!- Exercise always makes me feel great. I guess it’s the endorphins that are released. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to get back into the swing of a exercise routine, but once I start, I commit to it. I’m not a gym rat. It’s very monotonous to me. I love versatility and fun work outs so opt for classes like Zumba, Yoga, Kickboxing, etc. Right now I do Zumba twice a week and I love it!

What do you do to promote self-care in your life?